It’s much harder than I thought, and there’s only so much I can ignore.
May 7, 2010
April 17, 2010
after all…
Despite all the whining, frustration and angry words, she’s still very important to me. Very, and I still care a lot about her (too much perhaps), despite the cold shoulder. I always talk about a barrier between us, and sometimes I wonder if that barrier is self-imposed, and that the one being difficult is just me.
I’ve been thrown off-balance the entire semester; and rather than rope you into this insanity streak, I’d rather just stay away while trying to work things through myself. I don’t know what’s going to happen in the future, but I really do want you to be happy, whatever it is you choose.
March 18, 2010
??
There are alot of things I’d like to write and talk about, but for some reason I seem to have lost the ability to express these thoughts and feelings.
It’s as if my inner and outer self are now speaking totally different languages, and that somehow, during the translation (from inner to outer), the meaning/significance is lost. It’s a totally frustrating feeling. Writing wasn’t this tough previously.
In addition, there’s this lethargy within me that refuses to go away. Unlike previous semesters, the urge to stay home instead of hanging out in school seems overwhelming, such that I’m hardly around in school at all. In addition, there’s a total lack of motivation towards studies, which is vaguely alarming. However, I’m… just indifferent to it.
I wonder what’s causing this malaise within me. Sigh.
February 8, 2010
Sleepless Nights
I just can’t seem to get to bed. 4am, 5am, 5am, 3am.
It’s not that I’m not tired, or that I drank tea, or woke up late or anything. It’s just that I feel the need to… wait.
Waiting for something to happen.
January 3, 2010
New Year Resolution
1. More self-improvement
2. Get to know you even better.
3. Wait until you are ready. Whenever you are. Graduation? Sure.