December 2003

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I don’t know what to say. I really cannot decipher fact from fiction, real from fake. Tell me, on which side of the line does the imaginery world lie? Does anyone know? What I read on the Internet tonight I know I cannot trust, yet my foundation, all i’ve known all my life, religiously especially, all haven terribly been shaken. Where lies truth? Where lies deceit? I’ll be praying the whole of tonight. What IS happening to the world? I’m scared, really scared. What if what i’ve fought for, lived for, adhered by were all wrong? Maybe what i read tonight will all dim in time, and I really hope so, but tonight yet again my eyes have opened onto a whole new dimension, the unseen one as they call it, the “hidden” or the “underground” happeneings.

If what is written is true, good luck to us all. And to think it all started off with an innocent search on the internet called Lord Of The Rings: Return of the King. Sigh.

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Sunday was quite hectic. I woke up around ten plus only to turn on the computer straightaway and start working on the blog immediately. I’m finally starting to understand bits about html, and that is quite an achievement. Anyway, constantly using my phone too to get the bbq stuff sorted out. The highlight(and the biggest disappointment of all) was the bbq. Owing to its last minute nature(who to blame?), many could not make it already. Was thinking of cancelling it and actually msg-ed jinx to spread the msg that it had been cancelled when eugene came online and persuaded me not to cancel it. Since the pit was already booked and most of the foodstuffs could be bought downstairs, it wasn’t really a big problem. And so the bbq was on. How many came? I shan’t mention, suffice to say it was a huge embarrassment for me, at least. The next time I try to organise one, I’ll make sure i’ll inform everyone waaaaay in advance and make sure no one can block and spoil my plans AT ALL. Really quite disappointing. Anyway yang teng stayed over after the bbq and it was really quite nice to get to know him much better. Played the PS version of winning eleven into the wee hours of the morning but it was really fun.

Woke up today at around 12. Actually I was awakened by yang teng who had to leave early for training at 730 but then I was so tired I fell onto the bed and started sleeping immediately. Rushed down to zheng xian’s house for the housewarming and was late. Took me some time to reach the place. Watched some more of yeo feng’s amazing magic tricks and then played the PS 2 version of winning eleven. Joined the rest for soccer later though. Was playing a second mad round when someone stole zheng xian’s wallet. Thanks to yong lai the shen kia who spotted the thief while watching this chio bu play basketball. Quite hilarious actually. The thief started to run then most went to chiong. The thief was eventually caught and was really damn guai lan to us still. Anyway, the stupid police took such a long time to arrive. If it was a one on one situation the thief would long have run away already. Luckily there were like 6-7 people surrounding him. Outgunned so noc hoice but to stay. Then the police were really spastic, reading out all our particulars in front of the thief. What if he’s a gang member? Then what would be the consequences, and imagine the backlash, especially for zheng xian. Damn stupid, the police. Anyway talked alot on the train home. Really miss all my friends from ri man, not sure how long more before all of us can meet like that again. That’s all for now I guess. Not really much to write about. Reflections and resolutions for the new year are best left to the eve of the new year i guess.

Food for Thought:
A sudden insight into taoism inspired my current blog. Bipolar. All emotions are bipolar. Without a bipolar emotional world, emotions would never exist. Without anger, would you know calmness? joy without sadness? right without any wrong? No. Nothingness. The key to peace. Embrace nothingness, know nothing of emotions, detach yourself from the world emotionally and feel the peace within. Listen: what do you hear? Silence. Why do you feel at peace in teh dead of the night? Silence is the key. Silence(silens), key to peace and to harmony with the world. Only when at peace are you able to harmonise with the world around us and experience her magnificent beauty and splendor.

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Made a few minor changes yet again to the layout. Not really noticeable unless you are really observant. Added a few people’s blogs to the list too. Please tell me if you want yours to be removed from the list. I think this will be the final version of my new blog foir some time to come. I said earlier I wanted to add music to the blog? Nah. i decided otherwise. Abit irritating to you readers right? Anyway, I can’t forsee any dramatic changes to be made to the blog anytime soon, so yes, so its goodbye for now, no more fiddling with the meddlesome html codings and stuff. Haha.

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Ok. maybe i was abit too harsh in putting the link to the pornsite there. Oh well i’ve changed the link anyway. Made a few major changes from the design a took from www.blogskins.com Thanks luciditydesigns for the background and stuffs anyway. If you would still like me to leave your signature there please let me know. Just leave a msg on my tagboard thanks. Ok for a html nut i think this layout really is quite cool alr. it still looks quite empty so maybe I’ll add a few stuffs in here and there. Will be adding some music in soon hahaha. Have to go ‘kop” the html thing again from people. lolx. Anyway my brain quite empty now shall blog again later today. its a busy day ahead.

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Finally! My new blog looks presentable at last. Its nearly four in the morning now. Anyway just a warning to those who know my blog. PLEASE, do please type in the correct password, if not, its going to relocate you to a PORN site. I repeat, a PORN site. I’m not so nice like some other people to send you to a sucker.com , rather, if you dun know the password, ask me or please f*** off. Oh well thats it for my first blog. Really, I’m too tired to think of anything to type now though. signing off for now.-zzz-

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