Ok, its going to 2 am now. What the heck am I staying up so late tonight? And to think in ther afternoon I actually thought I could finally get a proper night’s rest, after a full week of 1-2 am nights. Supposed to do history essay now, but I’m quite sick of it. Not sure how to phrase the points properly, where to get elaboration and substantiation and so on. Anyway, I’ve decided to continue tomorrow. Hopefully, I’ll do better. I’ll try to finish the readings tonight though.
Undone or half done holiday homework is seriously killing me. Plus new topics perennially popping up (esp for phy), I’m seriously wondering how I’m going to cope with it. Luckily though, the topics don’t seem that hard yet. I’m doing quite ok with Maths and econs, but History and Physics are the subjects i’m worried about. Physics most of all since I haven’t touched anything since electric fields. Plus ‘S’ papers (I tell you, phy ‘s’ sucks), and the workload is never-ending. So glad that CNY is around the corner. A bit of breathing space there, though I’ll have to mug through the festivities for SAT i think.
Anyway i think Samuel Lim is a joker. Not the kind that Mr. Sayers is, but rather the kind where he makes a fool of himself. the only time I saw someone behave like was my female niece who was throwing a tantrum, sounding like some pampered kid. Almost exact replica i can tell you. At least his notes look more organised than Menon though. She’s still the ultimate.
I bought a new bowling ball on tuesday, after pooling with ben tan. haha brunswick power groove, 14 pounder, ice blue colour. It looks really cool. Hope my bowling will turn for the better from now on. Really want to be in the first team when competition arrives. Anwyay some of the j1s are fuckers. I hate to use this word, espeically in this blog, but i can’t find any word to describe them. I don’t understand why they would even want to cheat me of 50 cents. Oh well, and to think one of them is my junior from RI somemore. Totally disgusting. And he doesnt know how to bowl, forever fouling or going into the drain. Our very own future “gutter boy”. the girls are not bad larz, but the guys, apart from 2, all quite no hope, like me.
Enough of bowling. Heard huang hun by zhou chuan xiong on violin with piano. Seriously haunting. It sounds different, totally different from the the actual version. Suddenly, it was as if all the melancholy within me weere pouring in; my eyes actually filled with tears. Lucky they didn’t fall. Not sure why I got this sudden reaction, but I hazard a guess why. I’m being quite shameless, but maybe i should join them and perform for musicfest. they provide the music, i sing. *shrugs*
I guess after today i got another gllimpse into what the word love actually contains. Apart from all the normal descriptions of it: caring, cnsiderate, helpful, generous and all other morally correct values, the most important thing is that of selflessness. Otherwise, nothing would differentiate love from just an act of, for example, generosity.
Talking about love, i guess i’ve finally decided to leave it as it is, and let Nature take it course. maybe I’ll regret this 10 years down the road, or even 10 months down the road, at the prom night, but as for now, I think it’s best for both. It started with me and should also end with me, not the other party. I guessed I might have put the other party through some unwanted attentions and jokes, and I really feel guilty about it. The worst form of punishment is to see others suffer for the wrongdoings you make, especially those who are special to you. *sigh* I’m not sure whether this is the end, but i hope not, but as I’ve said, I’ll let Nature take its course, andif we’re meant to progress, we will. For now, let sleeping dogs lie and just let me suffer alone.
Anyway haha grace jun hui wadshername is my cousin. She’s currently studying in university, I’ll let her do the rest of the introduction herself. Anyway, thanks for tagging everyone, but please tag more? I know there’s nothing controversial to talk or exclaim over, but still, just leave a note or something. Otherwise i’ll jsut have to resort to planting lame jokes on the tagboard……
gotta get back to reading now. write again soon.
I still think we’re living in an opopanax.