silens-silentium

I wonder how long the good mood that I am in will last. the weekend already has been quite stressing. oh well, what else man, of course its my dear old parents. Same old parents. Anyway I shan’t dwell anymore on such shallow and niggly stuff that irritated me during the weekend, which will of course, irritate you, the reader in return.

Just finished reading the sequel to The Talisman, the second co-authored book by Stephen King and Peter Straub. Its titled The Black House. It totally rocks man. If I get the chance I’ll definitely buy both books and read them all over again. Anyway, the book is related the Stephen King’s Dark Tower series. That reminds me, Book 5 of the Dark Tower series is out. I absolutely have to go and read it soon. Another new mini-goal.

Shit my parents are kao-pehing about me again. Its totally pissing me off.

Anyway, I was just bargaining with my mum to let me come home in the evening instead of the normal after school and go home stuff. I’m quite sure deep down in my sub-conscious mind there was a reflex ulterior motive. I just promised myself the day before to lock up all my feelings, yet it shows up again, acts up again. Is it so embedded? I don’t know. It just seems like a shadow. No matter how strong the light is, the shadow will still be there, if if it’s just a small niggly miniscule spot on the ground. I wonder how bad it’ll start leaking when my resolve, my will weakens over the year. I certainly hope I don’t crumble again like last year. Its like some sort of nightmare I never want to revisit.

I’m quite tired now. Having meet the juniors session now. wonder how they will be like. Ok no looking back at the past. I hope someone would just invent the time machine. I think i need the ride back in time much more badly than Michael J Fox in Back to the Future. Oh my computer screen is flickering. Time for me to turn off the computer. I really need to get new connecting wires soon.

Totallt hooked on the scientist by coldplay. It evokes this melancholy romantic dance scene, like the hero dancing with his loved one a final time before leaving(and perhaps never returning). No hope. No tears. No promises. just two people, engulfed bythe love they have for each other. As what I’ve learnt from Gp applies, maybe that will all be gone by the time they’re seventy, but lets not look to the future. Lets just keep the present in mind and soak in that wonderful moment. Close your eyes and imagine it. We may never get to experience it, but at least we know what it’s like now.

I leave you with this. Goodnight.

Imagine me and you, I do
I think about you day and night, it’s only right
To think about the girl you love and hold her tight
So happy together

If I should call you up, invest a dime
And you say you belong to me and ease my mind
Imagine how the world could be, so very fine
So happy together

I can’t see me lovin’ nobody but you
For all my life
When you’re with me, baby the skies’ll be blue
For all my life

Me and you and you and me
No matter how they toss the dice, it has to be
The only one for me is you, and you for me
So happy together

I can’t see me lovin’ nobody but you
For all my life
When you’re with me, baby the skies’ll be blue
For all my life

Me and you and you and me
No matter how they toss the dice, it has to be
The only one for me is you, and you for me
So happy together

Me and you and you and me
No matter how they toss the dice, it has to be
The only one for me is you, and you for me
So happy together

So happy together
How is the weather
So happy together
We’re happy together
So happy together
Happy together
So happy together
So happy together
-The turtles

Guess what song this is? From what advert? Lolx. Happy guessing. Anyway i have an ulterior motive for putting it here, you just penning my thots.

I’m missing you
Girl even though you’re right here by my side
Cause lately it seems
The distance between us is growing too wide

I’m so afraid that you’re saying it’s over
It’s the last thing that I wanna hear

But if your heart’s not in it, for real
Please don’t try to fake what you don’t feel
If love’s already gone
It’s not fair to lead me on
Cause I would give the whole world, for you
Anything you ask of me, I’d do
But I won’t ask you to stay
I’d rather walk away
If your heart’s not in it

You say that you love me
But baby sometimes
You’re just saying the words
If you’ve got something to tell me
Don’t keep it inside
Let it be heard

I’m so afraid that you’re saying it’s over
Girl I’ll make it easy for you

If your hearts not in it, for real
Please dont try to fake what you don’t feel
If the loves already gone
It’s not fair to lead me on
Cause I would give the whole world, for you
Anything you ask of me, I’d do
But I won’t ask you to stay
I’d rather walk away
If your hearts not in it

How I wish I could take us back in time
But it’s gone too far now we can’t rewind
There’s nothing I can do
To stop from losing you
I can’t make you change your mind
If your heart’s not in it
-If Your Heart’s Not In It, Westlife

This was my fav song in early 2002. Seems such a long time ago…. anyway i still find it quite nice. It sort of speaks of some kind of perfect love, love almost at the highest level. Sort of fantasy-like right? Hmmz……

So a new year has come. Yet another year has passed by. Too fast? Too little time for anything? As dusk settled on the 31st of December, what were you doing? Partying away at Sentosa? Or drinking away to herald in the new year at some lounge/pub? Whatever it is, most of you, like me, were just too busy enjoying ouselves. I guess we really missed the oppurtune time to really reflect back on the year that passed.

Truth to tell, I really have alot of regrets, looking back. If i could, really could, I’ll just go back and re-do everything. As a matter of fact, however, maybe its precisely because I’ve taken this path that I’ ve matured alot this past year. Frankly speaking, I really don’t believe in studying anymore, but heck, one more year and that’s it, so why not? So many regrets

The arrival of dawn in the morning. Teh sun of the new year rises, casting away all the shadows that have bogged you the past year. let the cool breeze blow away all your troubles and regrets of the past year. Don’t look back as the door of 2003 finally closes, it will forever be a memory, a fond memory etched in your mind. Take a deep breath of the cool, refreshing morning air, and as you look at the brillant rising sun, look forward to the future.

My final year as a JC student. I guess, since nothing happened during the holidays, I’ll keep it under wraps. Maybe until the A’s are over, maybe forever. Love, Like, Crush, where lies the boundaries between the three? Will i ever know? I’ll just this sad tragedy locked up in a special place in my heart for a while. Maybe it’ll be buried soon, and I’ll forget it, maybe it’ll leave a lasting scar in my heart. Maybe.

Maybe I’ll die tomorrow. But so what? A dying flame IS still a flame, and will continue to be one until it is extinguished.

“In the cicada’s cry
No sign can foretell
How soon it must die”

Come up to meet you,
Tell you I’m sorry,
You don’t know how lovely you are.

I had to find you,
Tell you I need you,
Tell you I set you apart.

Tell me your secrets,
And ask me your questions,
Oh, let’s go back to the start.

Runnin’ in circles,
Comin’ up tails,
Heads are a science apart.

Nobody said it was easy,
It’s such a shame for us to part.
Nobody said it was easy,
No one ever said it would be this hard.
Oh, take me back to the start.

I was just guessing,
At numbers and figures,
Pulling your puzzles apart.

Questions of science,
Science and progress,
Do not speak as loud as my heart.

Tell me you love me,
Come back and haunt me,
Oh, when I rush to the start.

Runnin’ in circles,
Chasin’ tails,
Comin’ back as we are.

Nobody said it was easy,
Oh, it’s such a shame for us to part.
Nobody said it was easy,
No one ever said it would be so hard.
I’m goin’ back to the start.
-the Scientist, Coldplay