silens-silentium

Again I’m doing history, this time however, i’ve not given up yet. At least s lim is quite understanding of the situation and has given us an extension to the end of the week to pass up the assignment. I have to do well this time. 15/25 please.

Anyway, barring any unexpected occurrance, I’ll be going out with GUYS on V day. *clap clap* what the hell am i doing with guys on that day? The only consolation i can give myslef is that for those people going with me, they are also going out with guys! Cold comfort. As my parents say, there is plenty of time yet to play the field….oh well…..maybe if i dun get married i can play it for 10+ years? But i want to get married….before 30 at that….. that leaves me with barely 10 years…or 10 V days to celebrate….and here i’m wasting it to go out with guys? i think maybe I should just turn gay…but the problem then would be that all the guys will run away and then I’ll be going out with girls on V day…..hmmz…that sounds like a solution doesnt it? Haiz……I dun want to think about it…….

The tempo this week seems to be slowing down abit. i guess we’re on time, or even ahead of time for most of the subjects, and so can afford to take a breather…..or is it because the teachers know its V day? *shrugs* Anyway i’ve decided to stay with my ‘s’ paper combination…i dun want to write any more research essays!!!

Not much to write about school these few days….its good to be back in school and in the company of friends though. Once again i’m faced with the prospect of breaking up with them at the end of this year, when we graduate. How will i continue without them around? I seriously cannot imagine….I just hope it doesnt have to take 30 years like my mother’s class for us to meet yet again…..

That reminds me…i havent been talking to my Ri friends for a long long time……hulo if anyone of you is reading this please just msg me or anything…..i’ll be more than happy to catch up with you guys….meanwhile all of you take care…

Oh and one of my VJ pe teachers was from RI and RJ….interesting…and my house adopted a cheer from RI…brings back fond memories…..i wonder how I will think of Vj after leaving? What strick me most in Ri was the school spirit and togetherness and the friendships forged……i guess for Vj it’ll just be the friendships? Sorry but what VJ spirit?

going to sleep now………………………long day ahead.

Its 2 am in the morning and I just gave up trying to do history. I need to recuperate from my sickness man. I know it sounds like an excuse, but hey, health is higher on my priority list now. When I’m fully recovered I dun mind slogging the late nights but not when I’m still half sick?

Anyway my first crush is leaving for Shanghai this thursday. She’s staying there for 3 months, then going to a US college to further her studies. I’ll miss her. For me, the only regret was how far could we have gone? i was quite sure the feeling was mutual, just that she was studying one level slower than me (coz she’s a chinese indo). My mother’s student and the prettiest, I dare say. I guess maybe it wasnt possible though, given the distances apart all the time. i just wonder what if…

And as i write, V day draws ever so nearer…..I’m lost. What to do? My mind now is just completely burdened with work work and more school work. Sometimes I wonder if its worth it…..But then, since I dun have the financial capital to go overseas and study, then I should aim for the best.

Very luan4 now, alot of thoughts on my mind, alot of history ideas in my mind too…..

“I’m looking at you gal
I’m sure you know
How you mean to me
Your place in my heart
dun look away gal
give me an answer please…..”
-my song.

Somehow or rather, i seem to be badly affected that i’m going to spend V Day all alone this year. It’s like…what’s new man? Anyway…no mood to blog so much….

Maybe because expectations are suddenly up?

Maybe i should just throw away all my pride for a moment and just….never mind.

INFPs’ are like that….

Another added burden on me.

1400 for my SAT. How pathetic can it get? What the fuck. Now, apart from revising the common tests, now I have the added burden of another SAT test on me.

Damn pissed. Damn fucking pissed. Just when I thought things as a whole were getting better, personally, emotionally, academically……what the fuck man.

To carry on with physics ‘s’ i need a B. Well done, Nicholas, go slap yourself and pee on your face….

Haiz……………………..

The cruel jokes that life just loves to play on you….

When the night has come
and the day is done
I’m always thinking of you
you are in the air
You are everywhere
in the every thing I do

If I could keep this moment in time
if I could make you forever mine
Baby I’m lost in your love
from heaven above
You came to bring me up

Chorus:
With you I feel I could stay
in love forever and a day

When I walk alone
through an empty home
I just can’t stop thinking of you
do you feel the pain
Could it be the same
are you missing me too

I see your face when I close my eyes
I see a glimpse of your own paradise
you came from heaven above
I’m lost in your love

Free as the wind
you give me wings to fly
My girl I feel I could stay
in love forever and a day

I feel that I could stay
In love forever and a day
-forever and a day, MLTR