My com is finally up and I once again can blog again…but then why blog when all my blog entries are so sad? The main reason why i closed down the previous blog was so that i could start afresh, forget about the unhappiness of the past, and hope to be more optimistic about life in general.
Look at me now. Academically, sports-wise, mentally, physically, emotionally. I’m really drained. Its less than a week since I recovered from my previous illness and now I’m sick again. Today’s bowling prac was absolutely horrendous. All my hard work down the drain. To think that just the previous training I was beginning to think that i actually might be able to realise my goals after all. But looking at today, how to? The comp’s is in 3 months time and I really dont have much time left before the coach chooses. Just the “supposed” re-drilling of the thumb-hole of the ball, and now I have to start learning everything all from scratch again. Even the j1s are ahead of me now. And my dreams? Shattered and gone…
I dont want to talk about the rest. Its always easy for us to say how stupid people who commit suicide are, that we will never follow in their footsteps, but who knows what agony they actually go through before coming to the painful decision to jump? Or what were the cicumstances, the feelings of the person in that spur of the moment when he/she jumps? I hope I dont have to test my resolve on this issue soon.
Life is a bed of of roses, nice on the outside but thorny inside. If you’re not careful, you might even hurt yourself. That said though, roses do add colour and pleasantness to our world.
I’m finding out how hard it is to remain an optimist, especially in the face of failure.
Wishing everyone good luck in their endeavours. Hope you RJC peeps are not too stressed up over the common tests after the hols. After all they’re still 2 weeks away….