“True love is selfless
True romantic love, however, is hopelessly selfish.”
Quite thoughtful these few days. Now that competition is over, I have a little more time on my hands to start thinking about.. erm just thinking i guess. Anyway my thoughts drifted over to why i’m so addicted to ffx. Fantasy, love story, on top of the great music.. For me I guess I’m always been fascinated with such concepts of perfect love and since i don’t ever think i’ll get a chance to have such experiences, so i have to settle with reading and playing and just going crazy over such storylines?
While waiting for the parkway shuttle bus today though, i was watching this certain happening (or event) in front of me, and a though struck me. It was this family. The dad drives the van and i think delivers cartons of drinks i think. The back of the van is filled with cartons and cans and yet the three kids manage to squeeze. And they are not small. Obviously they are from a poorer background than me. I was wondering then, how perceptions and what they regard as important is different from me. If i was in their position, would I still be yearning for something like ffx to happen to me? Or would i be more interested in more realistic and “earthly” stuff? Pragmatic realism and idealism: which is correct? In primary and early secondary school years i was more of a pragmatic person; study hard get good grades; get a good job and…(no thoughts after that). However, as i progressed on the the latter part of my secondary school life I realised not everything is as simple or as realistic as we see it to be. What about studying? Does it guarantee you a job? As i started uncovering the imperfections of the world one by one I slowly drifted towards idealism and fantasy. Honestly speaking, i’ll rather be in a fantasy world as really, i think i fit in there much more nicely than over here. But, the way i progressed in my thinking, is it common to everyone? or is it unique to a certain economic class in society? I think there is a link between the two: in primary school i was more of a heartlander, in secondary school more scholarly then middle class; now i feel as if i’m evlving more towards the upper class. I feel quite torn sometimes: Is it wrong to be yearning and day-dreaming and being dissatisfied with my life while others out there are struggling to survive? Seems like I’m taking myself for granted. Am I? i guess the only answer i can provide to myself is just that we humans are never satisfied with ourselves.
Was looking out at the stars just now. isn’t it mind boggling that the universe, the stuff out there is so vast? I remember was it yesterday? that I was telling someone that i wanted to live on forever if possbile. Why not? There’s so much out there, too much to be covered in just a lifetime. I really don’t mind living on, though the emotions of outliving everyone you once knew is definitely going to be gut-wrenching. I was also thinking about the theory of infinite parallel universes. Would it be wrong if I proposed that whatever fantasy world we think of actually exists? People have established the brain to be a powerful machine in its own rights, when used appropriately, even small people can lift humungous objects, as testified by so many real life stories. I don’t know, but i have a hunch that if there are infinite number of universes, then i don’t think it would be absurd to propose that wouldn’t it?
I’m full of weird thoughts these few days. And yes, Kelvin, I really meant it when I commented that she’s like some character out of the final fantasy series. Yes, and i’m dreaming again…
“There, in the place you described
In the reaches of your heart that day
Though you may be puzzled
You can no longer return
Everything is different
From the shapes I saw in dreams
Reality…even makes me dizzy
Emotions swaying in the real world
I don’t want to be defeated
All I can do now is run–I start to hear it
In my heart
You are not alone”
-Real Emotions, ffx-2