All of a sudden I yearn to be a studen once again. Seems funny that we always think that the grass on the other side is greener.
While I complain to everyone who talks to me about my job in the army, contrary to what i usually say, I guess its much better and more satisfying than most other admin vocations that others handle. What I dislike though, is the emptiness witht the kind of life I’m currently leading. I just seem to be drifting, and I guess what pains me most is that i feel alone. Loneliness is something taboo. While i can survive being an isolationist, i cant stand loneliness though. Difference? Isolationist to me means i still have my thoughts for company, while loneliness just means…nothing. No thoughts, no aims, no friends, nothing.
Again, I get this feeling that i’m drifting away from people again. dunno, maybe i’m being paranoid, maybe….
I just feel so empty.
Anyway on to lighter stuff, i just joined this friendster like site called okcupid.com its not too bad larz… and the personality test was really quite accurate haha…. the results is below….
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The Boy Next Door: Random, gentle, love, dreamer….
Kind, yearning, playful, you are The Boy Next Door. You’re looking for real Love, a lot like girls do. It might not be manly, but it’s sweet. We think the next three years will be very exciting and fruitful ones for you. Your spontaneous, creative side makes you a charming date, and we think you have a horny side just waiting to shine. Or glisten, rather. You enter new relationships unusually hopeful, and the first moments are especially glorious. If you’ve had some things not work out before, so what.
On paper, most girls would name the Boy Next Door as their ideal mate. In the real world, however, you’re often passed over for more dangerous or masculine men. You’re the typical “nice guy:” without just a touch of cockiness, you’re doomed with girls. A shoulder to cry on? Okay, sure. But never a penis to hold.
More than any other type, Boys Next Door evolve as they get older. As we said, many find true love, but some fail miserably in the search. These tarnished few grow up to be The Men Next Door, who are creepy as hell, offering backrubs to kids and what not.
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Ok maybe not.
When i think of my life now, i am reminded of this particular advertisement by x-box. the one where the mother gives birth and shoots the baby out? then he flies….flies….flies…flies… and dies just as he finally hits the ground: the coffin. sigh.
Maybe I’ll start writing again….. though i seriously doubt my creativity and writing skills now.
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Oh well, maybe.