Am I an introvert? Or have I become one?
I sometimes worry about my university life, wonder if I’ll be able to fit into the “interaction” based life of university. I am quite happy about the way I am now, actually. I have good close friends to talk to everyday, albeit guy ones. I have time to my own thoughts, and time for relaxation, and really, I think I hate crowds. Of course, I can still speak to strangers when I need to, but it seems kind of forced.
Which brings me to the next point: The lack of interaction with girls. I often brush away comments by my parents about the lack of interaction with the opposite sex (after all, its NS, how many girls around my age will I get to know?), yet deep down inside I guess I’m worrying too. Do I expect too much, am I not trying hard enough, or am I just not suited to get involved in a relationship? I sometimes wonder, you know, after all, it seems weird that I dish out advice to beleaguered couples who sometimes come to me for assistance, and then go away happy after listening to my advice (and adhering to them, mostly).
I’m anxious to get out of the repetitive life now experiencing in NS, yet at the same time, I fear the unknown fog of future, especially when I enter university. I fear that by 25, I will still not have been involved romantically with a member of the opposite sex (after all, I once promised myself that I’d go into priesthood should I not get attached once by 25). Above all, I fear that I’m thinking too much.
Still, I’m glad I’m alive today. At least, I’m able to enjoy the simple things in life: Good music, good food, good company (well…good male friends), fresh air, beautiful scenary etc….
I think I should go to sleep…. ( and yeah, I just want to advertise Ichi Ritoru no Namida once more… on a sudden whim. Go watch it please, I’m sure, quite sure, you’ll appreciate life better after watching this…hopefully).