I’m not sure if the 2 weeks break was good for me.
I’m feeling increasingly alienated from the human world, and I wonder why.
October 29, 2006
October 21, 2006
Post-Operation Trauma
No, the trauma stems not from my poor little toe, whose only cover from the fucked-up shit in this world (read: toenail), got ripped from it. Now, it currently wrapped tightly with many layers of gauze and bandaged, but it’ll take about 2 months at least before half a toenail grows out again.
What I’m referring to is the way my family forces me to walk around, as if i am a normal person. Do this, try that, nag here, nag there. I wonder how I’ll last through till 3 Nov. I guess I’ll definitely return to work before that, can’t stand the rubbish at home, can’t even rest in peace. Maybe my toe will recover faster in office, and I’ll be able to go for long walks soon.
The one bright spark in my life is also not shining so brightly currently. Its alright though, I think its better this way. (What/how I feel is not that important, actually). Guess she’ll be able to concentrate on her ‘A’ levels without any distraction/irritants (aka me).
Yeah, I think I’ve got a bad dose of post-operation depression too.
October 16, 2006
Withdrawal symptoms
If only the random plucking of the petals of the roses could decide what is, or isn’t.
If only memories could satiate the longing in my heart.
The unnatural silence after the end of a beautiful piece is killing me.
Where are you?
October 15, 2006
Charmed.
I admit I am charmed by this vjc junior I finally to see face to face. Should I mention names? Maybe not. I’ll just post some details about her then. Student Councillor, French Club, taking French, Econs and Maths. Can’t locate her anywhere on cyberspace at all currently. Christian too. Hmm. I might actually, no, I want to get to know her better.
Damn, I should really have ignored the 3 glaring members of 1Obn and continued the conversation that was warming up. 
Hopefully I’ll get to know her better after her ‘A’ levels… and maybe take similar courses in university.
And yeah, would like to get a pic of her too. Sigh.
On to other matters, the Departed is the typical superficial type of Hollywood movie. While Infernal Affairs had substance, the Departed was slick, but well… typically Hollywood. The ending was really atrocious actually, what were they thinking when they wrote the ending? So cheesy that I remarked to sauce-dan (who was sitting beside me) moments before the ending scene that if that scene (which was the ending scene) actually happened, I would laugh my ass off. My ass didn’t come off, but well, it was real hilarious. AND WHAT WAS WITH THE RAT CRAWLING ON THE RAILING?
I can’t stop thinking of the soft spoken junior I met. Good thing? I dunno, I’ll have to see.
October 2, 2006
Haiz.
I suddenly felt very very lonely this afternoon. I dunno if it was the huge number of couples around me, or that I really had nothing to think/do while my parents were looking at their clothes. Was really, really tempted to sms someone. I resisted though, but the empty feeling remains. Once again, the thought that my main aim in life now is actually that of finding that other half in my life.
Which leads me to Neon Genesis Evangelion. Will be doing a write-up on it, on sauce-dan’s request. The arguement for and against the proposed “Instrumentality of the Human Mind” was quite brilliant, and I absolutely love it (even though episode 25 was quite a yawner). Running away from reality, individuality vs homogeneity etc..
I wonder if my inaction regarding my life is actually a form of reality escape. I dunno, but I intend to find out, I hope.