silens-silentium

I seriously wish I had more faith in myself. Despite trying all these years, going through time after time of self-reflection and self-correction, I still find myself woefully inadequate when it comes to self-confidence, and the inability to dare to try. I’m still afraid of failure, even though not as much as before, and while I dish out advice to others in improving themselves, for some reason I’m unable to progress.

I’m just afraid of stepping out of my comfort zone I guess. After the incident in JC, where my repeated insensitive remarks led to someone bursting out on tears, I’ve trained myself to be ultra-sensitive, and perhaps, over-reading into situations where taking things on the surface would have sufficed.

Deep down inside, I’m still that little boy, with loads of passion, but with no stamina or perserverence to push things through.

Argh, this sucks. And I just promised myself yesterday that I’ll never, ever feel like this again.