Not in the lewd way. I am referring to my constant urge to sing suddenly.
I think a kbox outing should be in order. Shouting out/away my worries might be a good thing; since I can’t shout out songs now that there are tenants in my house. One of the few setbacks, but all in all, they’re rather fun tenants to have.
Everytime I introduce someone to my blog, the one thing that they’ll mention is: Oh my gosh, how very emo(tional) this blog is! My reply is always “Really? Doesn’t seem so to me.” Honestly, I’m lying; I think my blog is rather emo too. I try to keep it light where possible, but it ends up sounding rather long but dull. Or bimbotic.
That’s not the main reason why I tend to blog like this. I guess the blog just reflects an inner me (not THE inner me though, I’m multi-faceted) that yearns to get things off sometimes. My shoulder muscles are constantly bunched up on the weight (self-imposed and otherwise) on them, and heavy strings tugging at the heart bring me to the edge of despair at times. Hence the blog, as a convenient outlet (or dumping ground) to lighten the tugging/weight.
Rather than call it emo, I’d rather call it reflective. After all, the most acute observations, and the best solution/action to take always manifests itself whenever I’m blogging. Which simply means, the term emo is just going to stick with my blog.
I’ve been tempted on a few occasions to blog, but on each occasion, whenever I log in and stare at the screen, I suddenly go dumb mentally, and am unable to type anything at all. Even if I do, it’s so bad that I’ll just delete it in disgust, and just go do something else.
I guess some things have happened over the past week that has brightened my outlook somewhat, restored a little of my self-confidence, and have managed to contain those despairing feelings, and reduce them to simmer deep within. Occasionally, I find it attempting to surge up at times, but I’ve managed to suppress them in the end. No time for distractions.
I guess that’s why I’m leaving my term paper to the weekend. So that I don’t have the time to start thinking dumb stuff and let the feelings boil over. Especially during the 1 week term break, where I’m supposed to catch up on everything.
Kbox anyone?
Edit: I just realised that I seldom utilise the other categories I set up on my blog. Hmmmm.