silens-silentium

I’m choking. Suffocating. The flu has really hamstrung me.

I’ve got an essay due on Friday. I’ve got the outline written out, I’ve got all the research material with me, but I just can’t seem to sit down and read the material and start writing.

I’m really tired at the moment, but I can’t get to sleep. I wanted to take an afternoon nap, so I could work through the night tonight. I can’t, for various reasons, not least being the reservoir of mucus stuck up there between my eyes in the cavities.

Okay, I’m going to try taking a nap again.

After catching a movie and having a short second dinner, I took the MRT home. I had braced myself for a long and monotonous journey home, but somehow, despite taking an alternate route (which definitely took a longer time) to get home, the ride was unexpectedly fast. Too fast in fact.

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what i can remember
is alot like water
trickling down a page
of the most beautiful colors
i can’t quite put my
finger down on the moment
that i became like … this

you see, i’m the bravest girl
you will ever come to meet
and yet i shrink down to nothing
at the thought of someone
really seeing me
i think my heart is wrapped around
and tangled up in winding weeds

but i don’t wanna go on living
being so afraid of showing
someone else my.. imperfections
even though my feet are trembling
and every word i say comes stumbling
i will bare it all.. watch me unfold
unfold

these hands that i hold
behind my back are
bound and broken by my own doing
and i can’t feel
anything, anymore
i need a touch to remind me
i’m still real..

my soul
it’s dying to be free
i can’t live the rest of my life
so guarded
it’s up to me to choose..
what kind of life i lead.

cause i don’t wanna go on living
being so afraid of showing
someone else my.. imperfections
even though my feet are trembling
and every word i say comes stumbling
i will bare it all.. watch me unfold
unfold

i will allow someone to love me
i will allow someone to love me…

love me.. love me…

- Unfold, Marie Digby

For a long while, I sort of doubted my ability to maintain my grades this semester. The second semester syndrome, as they call it. In any case, I’m glad I’ve received a timely booster/reminder that I’m not that mediocre after all.

Back to work.

I’ve resolved to to make a post before going to bed. After all, it has been 2 very eventful weeks for me.

Or rather, I’ve had very interesting conversations with so many people over these two weeks. I wish I could post the chat logs, but I don’t think it’d be rather appropriate. Or nice. In any case, to all of you, my sincere thanks for sharing those insights, and nice/interesting/anecdotal stuff with me. Really kept me smiling through these two weeks. I do hope we continue maintaining contact. And keep disturbing me, I like pleasant distractions!
1 week down, 5 more to go I believe. Before the reading week, then the exams. I do hope I can last through this period.