silens-silentium

In more ways than one. I never thought I’d be writing such a post here, but there’s a snapping point to everyone.

I can’t believe a blissful date could morph into a disastrous outing the following day. Either I’ve been played for a fool, or I did something to piss you off such that you have to return the favour.

I guess the favour was returned in spades, especially when I ignored my better senses to rest at home yesterday, and instead went to buy breakfast, and even decide to press on with the recce trip, in the hope of forging some kind of common experience that could be treasured.

Treasured? Yeah, more of a nightmare rather. I’ve never been much of a talker since Junior College, and I’ve been talking less and less with each passing year. I’ve changed from someone who has liked talking to others, to one who just enjoys the company of the other, and am satisfied with the time spent together.

Maybe I’ve just been reading all the signs wrongly, and that I’m the fool here; but I choose not to believe so. Even then, it hurts.

Fucking hurts. Call me jealous, which i am, or a loser, but I’ve never felt like this before. Nor have I done so much for anyone before. I’ve always acted like Mayama, but I guess I’m turning into a Yamada instead. Maybe after all these years, I’m finally lovestruck.

Going back to bed, best form of painkillers there is.