silens-silentium

I don’t know how long I can hold out. Each time the question is asked, I’ve found it harder to find a light-hearted reply. I guess the each time the question was popped, it was in jest. Then again…

I’m sorely tempted to look you in the eye earnestly, and say yes. But I’m just a good friend.
First paper tomorrow, and here I am pondering over such “trivial matters”.

I’ve felt increasingly like a failure the past few days. Perhaps the pressure is getting to me and I’m cracking.

I’m really tempted to revise my expectations and standards, but it seems like the easy way out. I guess I’ll have to trudge on, maybe things are not so bad after all.

I’d like to go out for a coffee now, or maybe take a long walk by the beach, but there’s no one I can ask.

Perhaps I’ve really been conducing my life based on all the wrong principles and beliefs.

我是在等待一个女孩
还是在等待沉沦苦海
一段情默默灌溉
没有人去管花谢花开
无法肯定的爱 左右摇摆
只好把心酸往深心里塞
我是在等待你的回来
难道只换回一句活该
一个人静静发呆
两个人却有不同无奈
好好的一份爱 啊怎么会慢慢变坏

冷冷的冰雨在脸上胡乱的拍
暖暖的眼泪跟寒雨混成一块
眼前的色彩忽然被掩盖
你的影子无情在身边徘徊
你就像一个刽子手把我出卖
我的心彷佛被剌刀狠狠地宰
悬崖上的爱 谁会愿意接受最痛的意外
我是在等待你的回来

难道只换回一句活该
一个人静静发呆
两个人却有不同无奈
好好的一份爱
啊怎么会慢慢变坏

冷冷的冰雨在脸上胡乱的拍
暖暖的眼泪跟寒雨混成一块
眼前的色彩忽然被掩盖
你的影子无情在身边徘徊
你就像一个刽子手把我出卖
我的心彷佛被剌刀狠狠地宰
悬崖上的爱 谁会愿意接受最痛的意外

冷冷的冰雨在脸上胡乱的拍
暖暖的眼泪跟寒雨混成一块
眼前的色彩忽然被掩盖
你的影子无情在身边徘徊
你就像一个刽子手把我出卖
我的心彷佛被剌刀狠狠地宰
悬崖上的爱 谁会敢去采

还是愿意接受最痛的意外 最爱的女孩
悬崖上的爱 谁会敢去采
还是愿意接受最痛的意外 最爱的女孩

- 冰雨,刘德华
———–
听了这首歌，心里不禁酸了一下。我到底在想什么呢？

How do you mend a broken spirit?

I haven’t posted for a long time.

There are alot of things I want to say, alot of frustration to vent, alot of pain to engrave, alot of pressure to relieve. Somehow, when I stare a the screen, I just don’t feel like letting them go. It’s a form of torture, yet I seek solace in it.

1 more month. 1 more month before I can rest easy. At least for 3 months.